“Truth is connected to memory – both in our personal histories as well as the history of God’s redemptive actions performed on our behalf.”~ John J. Parsons.
As a survivor of sexual abuse, my view of my life was that of a series of horrendous events that left me a mess in not just mind and soul but even in body. I could not reconcile God’s truth into my reality. They seemed contradictory to one another. My view of truth was distorted and I did not know it. That is an unfortunate and awful side-effect of abuse. However, we do not have to stay there. God’s reality, which is far more real than our reality, is available to us. It’s the actual truth that we can’t see clearly on our own. We must realize we are looking at life through a broken glass and admit we need His help to see clearly.
When we take the memories that cause us great suffering to the cross and ask Jesus to open our eyes to His truth – to the true reality of things, we come away with such a renewed mind that the memories are forever transformed. I have learned that what I remember is only part of the whole story. When I ask Him to specifically reveal HIS truth into each memory, He reveals a much larger picture – a picture I hadn’t known existed. He reveals Himself and things about those situations that only He could know. He transcends time to give me the full view of where He was then to what He has accomplished for me since.
Experiencing those memories though God’s eyes has brought great healing and comfort to my soul. His words from Hebrews 13:5 “I will never leave you nor forsake you…” and 1 Pet 5:7, that He cares for me became reality instead of a paradox to what my view of reality had been saying to me about God and who He really is.
Recently I wrestled through a repressed memory that had finally pushed its way out in first person form. This memory was horrific and as I re-lived it, I would be left completely undone time and time again. That was the direction I was headed one night when I awoke with it playing in my mind like a broken record.
I saw myself in the room with a number of abusers and felt myself being pulled into the trauma and fear. I began to ask God to help me and immediately I saw a bright circle of light invade the memory and push back all the abusers, holding them back from me. I looked down on the scene and saw only a small girl in a white nightgown lying on a bed. Jesus came to my side and I took his hand and jumped off the bed. Together we walked out of that room, down the hall, through the kitchen and out the back door. We followed a driveway up to my childhood home and entered through the back door. As we came into the kitchen, my whole family was there and I was no longer a little girl; we were as we are today. They all embraced me there.
In seeing the memory from His perspective and transcending time, it transformed that past reality into a representation of what was happening in the present. Though the scars may remain, the pain of that situation is gone. Now when that memory comes up, I am filled with comfort, gratitude and the love and support of Jesus and my family. That is God’s truth. That is the reality we can’t see at first when we look back on the past. This is how He transforms our minds and heals our memories.
His truth is a message directly from the cross of Jesus Christ:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden. Take my yoke upon you for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matt 11:28