I was on a mission this morning. I was going to de-activate this blog. I hardly write anymore. These last few years have opened up the truth that is too painful to write. So much of my life that I thought I knew has turned out to be wrong. Rather than go back and attempt to correct, I wanted to just delete it and someday start fresh.
But, God had another thought. (He always does.) He reminded me that all throughout the Bible He had people put up altars of memorial; altars that are meant to speak of God’s victory in their lives. I haven’t gone back and re-read my posts but hopefully I shared the good things God has done in most of them. Sometimes that was hard to see but it was always there. So rather than erase these altars of memorial, I will leave them. They may not be comfortable for me or anyone else but they are markers of God’s love and provision for me. They hopefully testify to the reader of God’s love to humanity in our desperate and painful trials and they speak loudly in the spiritual realm as a testimony of the supremacy, power and authority of God Almighty.
So, today I will erect another memorial altar. I would like to share a dream that has brought me encouragement. It frustrated me at first but now I understand it as God’s provision.
In my dream I was on a speedboat. A man was driving the boat and we sped over a dirty, grey-brown river down a steep hill and around sharp turns. It seemed out of control but it managed to stay upright on this fast, dirty river. Suddenly we turned sharply and found ourselves underground in a collapsed dam. The boat came to a sudden halt and the driver got off and disappeared. I began helping people off the boat. Finally, the boat began listing and the murky water threatened to pour in. I jumped off just in time. I found myself on a flat rock area. It was surprisingly large for being underground. We all peered around large boulders that blocked the way but there was no way forward. A girl came toward us. We thought she would help us out but instead she informed us there was no way out. The way we had come in was too steep and the way forward was blocked off. She instructed us to help one another and love one another. Suddenly many tables appeared on the flat rock area and we sat down to a feast. There was a large amount of meat and we ate until we were satisfied. We were encouraged and happy to help one another. Some time later however we became unsettled. We had been there a long time and while our needs had been fully met, we were anxious to get out of there. I noticed the girl had returned and this time she stayed with us. She sat encouraging the people in small groups at a time. I looked around and saw rooms made out of rock (large caves) that contained supplies. One of them was set up like a kitchen. As I entered the kitchen I saw a lot of dirty plates piled up around the room. There was a sink with clean running water and soap. I decided to wash the dishes to encourage the others.
This is where I have been these last few years. I am off the fast boat and the crazy driver has been removed. This underground earthen dam with caves is a hidden and protected place where the Lord has provided for me in every way. It has been a long stay though and there are times I get really restless and wonder if I will spend the rest of my life underground. However, I have realized this is God’s protection for me. There are no abusers here. They are not allowed. God controls the process and nothing will go forward or backward on a tainted river. Instead He will bring me out another way. God is in control. I am hidden in the Rock, high above my enemies. (That should tell you how low my enemies are. If I am underground and still high above them, they are seriously low!) He gives me the food I need. He has prepared a table before me in the presence of mine enemies and yet in His awesome protection, they are not allowed access to me. My place is secure and safe.
So this is my altar of memorial today. I am setting it up for all to see and I declare: God is my protection. God is my provision. God is my help and strength. God is my sustenance. God is my encouragement. God is my fellowship; my companion in the stronghold. God is my sun and brightness. God is the fullness of all I need and I am safe.
So be it.