At 31 I was just finishing 6 months of cancer treatment when memories of sexual abuse began to surface and I officially acknowledged the truth God had known all along. What I was remembering at that time was merely the grooming and conditioning I had experienced as a young child but it was enough to send me to a counselor to process what I was remembering. After working hard through counseling and support groups to embrace mental, emotional, physical and relational health for 5 years I found that indeed I had come a long way in relational and emotional health. I was growing in my relationship with the Lord with the attitude of “I don’t want to just survive, I want to thrive!” I didn’t want to just have “a” life; I want an full life. John 10:10 became my motto; “life and life abundant” was my goal.
Eventually, I started a support group in my church called RESTORE~ation as a recovery group for women who had been sexually abused. I wanted to give back what I had learned and also provide a safe place for Christians to find support since in my experiences I had found that there is not much of that available in the church. Little did I know, by stepping into the midst of helping others through recovery, I had unleashed a torrent of backlash against me from a deep place I hadn’t yet discovered. After several years struggling through ministering to others, I began to have flashbacks, nightmares and full on PTSD. Memories of extreme abuse throughout my childhood from age 3-early 20’s surfaced as the missing gaps of time began to unfold bringing forth a reality of the unspeakable.
RESTORE-ation is my story – the story of the goodness of God in the life of a child raised in the midst of hidden evil.
John 10:10, ESV The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.