Dealing with DID

If you have read the “About the Author” page, you know I am a survivor of satanic ritual abuse (SRA).  I have not posted much about disassociative identity disorder, or DID (the direct and purposed result of satanic ritual abuse) as walking through that process was like suddenly falling into a puzzling maze.  Not knowing … More Dealing with DID

From Death to Life

The Lord has been speaking to me about the fractures in our lives.  Mine were more pronounced due to the type of abuse I went through but we all have them whether we admit it or not.  When we are hurt or go through difficult experiences we try to shut down the pain of those … More From Death to Life

Altars

I was on a mission this morning.  I was going to de-activate this blog.  I hardly write anymore.  These last few years have opened up the truth that is too painful to write.  So much of my life that I thought I knew has turned out to be wrong.  Rather than go back and attempt … More Altars

New Beginnings

To say 2015 was a difficult year is a huge understatement.  There is a quote going around on social media that says “There are years that ask questions and years that answer.” (Zora Neale Hurston, American folklorist and author.)  2015 was a year that answered and the answers were very hard.   Most people don’t … More New Beginnings

After the Rain

It’s raining here today.  As a kid, rain was a comfort to me.  Not sure why.  The louder and more demonstrative the storm, the better I felt.  I wonder sometimes if it was just my way of feeling heard.  I did not know how to address or articulate the storm inside me so I quietly … More After the Rain

Transforming Truth

“Truth is connected to memory – both in our personal histories as well as the history of God’s redemptive actions performed on our behalf.”~ John J. Parsons.   As a survivor of sexual abuse, my view of my life was that of a series of horrendous events that left me a mess in not just mind … More Transforming Truth

Being Human

I learned a new concept recently.  It’s called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD. Boy, does that explain a lot!! PTSD is a term for the various symptoms a person experiences following a traumatic event.  For those who have been sexually abused as children, PTSD usually shows up immediately in some form but can resurface … More Being Human

Hard Clarity

At the age of 3 and 4, I was deeply in love with Jesus. At 5, evil struck a traumatic blow. But God. Ten long months ago I resumed a journey I started 13 years ago that I thought I had completed.  In 2000, I had dealt with memories of sexual abuse that had surfaced … More Hard Clarity

Grief Sucks

Are you going through grief from past abuse? I feel for you. I understand. I really do. My journey… April 15, 2013 The cycle of grief has started again and I’m frustrated.  I so want all this to be gone so I can move on.  I want to stop thinking about [abuser].  I want to … More Grief Sucks

Hard Things

The pulse beats hard and I am challenged to “get it all down before it goes away.”  I cringe.  I have created blogs for my thoughts and yet there are some I don’t want to even think about much less share.   But I sense the great need to record it.   Maybe just for myself to … More Hard Things